Innoculation

I spend a good deal of time dealing with "what if" questions:

What if he gets offended?

What if he's in a bad mood?

What if his business is hurting?

These nagging questions a natural part of our "fight or flight instincts" that seem to shift into high gear before an ask. The way to deal with these types of pitfalls (both real and perceived) is through "inoculating."

"Inoculation" was a very basic psychological tool used by the US army in Korea and Vietnam. Captured soldiers were subject to very intense indoctrination by the communists who portrayed the US as a war mongering empire, and the commies as innocent, freedom-seeking agrarian workaholics. Their techniques eroded the soldier's faith in his cause and often yielded a good deal of collaboration.

The army responded by including basic preparation against this type of brainwashing as part of every soldier's basic training. By giving each soldier a small dose of what the enemy's indoctrination was like, and how it could be countered, the army ensure that each man was "inoculated."

"Inoculate" when making the ask, or any other persuasive presentation.

One example might be when you are trying to up a donor's commitment: Steve has been consistently giving $100 to your annual campaign. You suspect that he's good for $1,000. You should naturally be apprehensive about moving Steve up by such a large amount - ten times his usual gift. He may feel offended that you're trying to take the relationship much further than he's ready for. He may feel hurt that you view his $100 as inadequate, etc.

 The solution is to inoculate. Bring up the "poisonous" ideas first, in small doses, and then counter them. It might look something like this:

1. [Inoculate against taking the relationship too fast] I know that it might seem like I'm moving our relationship a bit fast, but you really have shown such incredible committment to the organization...

2. [Inoculate against not appreciating his donation] I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate what you've done for us in the past - you've shown outstanding support...

3. [Inoculate against his bad mood] Steve, I know it's probably the worst time to come to you with requests, but there's a lot riding on this proposal and I'd like for you to give it the right consideration.  

4. [Inoculate against the fact that he can't stand you] Steve, I realize that I'm probably not the best person to make this request, but I would like you to consider it on its own merits...

Guaranteed to work? Nope. But you are enabling yourself to make the ask in spite of unfavorable conditions, and making it difficult for the donor to resent you for it.