The Five Best Ways to Fail at Fundraising

Not everyone loves money. In fact there are hundreds and hundreds of mosdos in Brooklyn alone that hate it and have incorporated many corporate practices to ensure that gelt stays where is belongs - in the donor's pocket.

For those of you that want to escape the inevitable success that responsible fundraising brings, I have compiled this handy list of the five best ways to fail at fundraising.

Get Emotionally Involved:  Blame every setback on your own personal faults. Take every "no" as a personal rejection and an insult to everything you believe in. Start looking shtilerheit in to getting a real estate license.

Let the Donor Read Your Mind: The best kept secret is that donors are telepathic - they can read your mind. Give your donors great service, but never ask them to support your mossad or mention anything about your needs. They can and will read your mind, and one day - one day! - surprise you with an outstanding donation.

The Angry Donor

I remember a farbrengen that some of the staff and I had by a well-known NYC lobbyist. He often has the unenviable job of fundraising for political campaigns - campaigns which demand uber-quantities of cash in a short, fixed amount of time.

We wound up speaking about the "angry donor" - that gevirishe baalebos that is always a little too short on time and patience to treat you like a mentsch.

"The people that I work for have very clear goals and expectations. They hire me to fulfill those expectations," our lobbyist friend declared. "What do you think would happen if I got to a donor but didn't make the ask? Can you imagine if I reported to my client that I got to the donor but didn't make the ask because he was in a bad mood?! My career would be over!"

He added: "Trust me, I'm sure he was in a great mood until the secretary told him you're in the waiting room...!"

Moral of the story: Ask anyway.

Innoculation

I spend a good deal of time dealing with "what if" questions:

What if he gets offended?

What if he's in a bad mood?

What if his business is hurting?

These nagging questions a natural part of our "fight or flight instincts" that seem to shift into high gear before an ask. The way to deal with these types of pitfalls (both real and perceived) is through "inoculating."

Bad Attitudes

Let's say that your organization enjoys a good deal of notoriety, lots of grass roots support, and is known for being effective and well-run. Surely there's nothing that could stand in the way of successful fundraising, right?

Right...?

Actually, in spite of the many finer aspects of many mosdos, there is a terribly strong poison that will turn advantages into liabilities every time. Bad attitude.

I met with board members of one such mosad to discuss how they could boost their fundraising which, to my utter surprise, has been disfunctional for a number of years. They are known for being a "class act" kind of organization, and I was more than a little dumbfounded when it seemed that a few basic and essential fundraising elements were not in place - but could easily be. 

Modern Dance & the Haiti Earthquake

Do you believe in your cause?

Really?

I had the opportunity to sit with a successful individual who lent his time and resources to an NYC dance school. This guy was unreal. Aside from being fervent supporter of the school (his daughter had been a student years ago), he was a committed, active member of their board and was involved in prospecting and soliciting donations.

"Really? Dance?" I asked naively, "How do you pitch dance in today's world...?"

"What exactly does that mean...?" he shot back, somewhat agitated.

My save: "You know. Today's world... Tsunami, Haitian earthquake. Many donors think the arts are secondary to some of the hot crisis issues."

"They're wrong."